The two big questions my students have been asking me this week. The super-specific: ‘Oh, you like Japanese men? Why? What are the differences between Japanese men and western men?’ And the wide-scoping ‘So how are you finding Japan?’
In the first case. I’d like to make it clear I like western men, as all my previous boyfriends (bar one) were western. But there is something… different appealing about Japanese men. Let’s get more specific: young Japanese men. We’re talking 18-35 year olds. First of all, and if you know me you know how highly I rate this, they all seem to have good hair. Yes, some of them tease it and pouff it to epic manga-style proportions, but most of them just seem to have a natural, snappy, style. It follows from head to toe as well. That belt, those shoes, a scarf on colder days – they just look so… well put together. Sometimes on the train it’s like being in a Gap advert and I wish my iPhone didn’t have such a noisy camera or I’d capture it for sure. But, as some of my students told me this week, appearance is important in Japan. To the extent where, if a boy band behaves and looks good, they’ll sell records even if their music is a bit pants. So I guess it’s all about the image.
In a country that has such amazing traditional dress, it’s not so surprising to hear that appearance matters, I suppose. I know I still find it thrilling when a women in a kimono steps onto my train, and can’t help but peek a few times at her obi, pretty sandals, neat hairstyle and accessories. I’ve only seen one group of men in Kyoto in traditional male kimono too, but I have to say it does a number on me even more than the snappy everyday clothes. There’s something about the simple cut, and the colours, that makes a guy just look amazing.
But what are the chances of me meeting a nice Japanese guy who might just wear it at my demand, ahem, request? Fairly thin, if my fellow gaijin are to be believed. Just one female teacher I’ve met so far has a Japanese husband, and all the dating talk seems to be around western guys with Japanese women. I have to be honest, it’s a little disappointing for a single western woman to hear, like being in a sweet shop where all the tasty sweets are on really high shelves: for display purposes only.
A few students, and fellow teachers, have already offered me some advice on this matter. ‘Japanese men are shy.’ ‘They won’t approach you because their English isn’t good.’ ‘It’s not a good match, a Japanese man and a western woman. It’s too difficult.’ ‘Japanese men expect women to agree with them, and they don’t think western women will.’ An interesting point, the last one, because I’ve met quite a few feisty Japanese women already, and they’re not all single. Well, I think it’s easy to sweep a generalisation about any demographic, and Japanese women particularly for some reason. There seems to be this image in the west of them all being meek, pretty little creatures who all love cute things, and want to get married by 30 and have babies. Pretty, I’m not going to deny them, because like the oh-so-stylish Japanese men, they value their appearance, and when they’re in full-on kimono there are few things more stunning. As for liking cute things – I think that’s a national obsession and not just unique to women. But as for the rest – I think it’s just down to character. Recently one of my students asked the other: ‘You love your husband, don’t you?’ and student 2 considered it a moment, then replied, ‘I suppose, he’s like family to me.’ Student 1 nodded, and said: ‘Some people say when they have been together a long time, their partner becomes like… air.’ We couldn’t decide between us if that was a good thing or not.
Another student, a friendly guy about my dad’s age, appraised me and said with a twinkle in his eye: ‘You should stay away from Japanese boys, they’re bad news.’
Whether he was referring to his own colourful past, I don’t know, but I feel he might have been hinting at what yet another student outright asked me. He stopped me in my tracks in a media class I subbed, by asking: ‘Weren’t you scared to come to Japan after you read about that English teacher getting killed?’
No, I explained, no more scared than I would be to move to any unfamiliar place. In fact, the murderer in that case has recently been caught, despite having plastic surgery to evade the authorities. I understand from other blogs that the Daily Mail has been having a field day with it, probably not doing the image of Japanese men, and society in general, much favour in western eyes. I think I’m lucky to have been exposed to so many different sides of Japanese culture through its manga, films, language lessons and previous holiday visits, that I know this is a generally safe country to live in. But it makes me wonder how the Japanese media portrays western people, and how that shapes Japanese people’s perceptions of us.
Last weekend, which was rainy and grey, I decided to go the International Museum of Manga in Kyoto. It’s packed full of modern manga to browse, as well as exhibits tracing the history of manga in Japan. One of the exhibits showed the American comic Blondie translated for the Japanese audience in the post-war period: a character was making a gigantic sandwich in one sketch, which the information panel explained gave Japanese people a vision of American excess while they struggled to revive their economy. It seems manga was a vital key in keeping people’s spirits up in the post-war era, giving them something easy to discuss/laugh over, or perhaps aspire to. Overall I found the exhibits fascinating, and was excited to see a full colour panel signed by the manga artist from one of my favourite titles. My love of manga is one of the things that drew me to Japan; I don’t mind admitting I’m a female otaku (geek) to my students, and they seem to love quizzing me about my cosplay, and favourite animes. Although one student advised me ‘You don’t want an otaku boyfriend. Don’t look for men in the manga store.’ I have to say it’s the only place I am distracted from them… unless I’m paying for some goodies and the clerk has good hair of course. But boys, heed a warning note here: the gaijin boys tell me they don’t like to profess their love of anime here. They didn’t bring their favourite t-shirts from home, and they keep the semi-naked statues hidden, because apparantly Japanese girls aren’t so keen on gaijin otaku. So ssshhh… keep it secret, keep it safe and you’ll get the girl. Maybe ask her to wear the costume *after* she’s your wife.
Oh yes. And in answer to question 2: how are you finding Japan? Sorry to say I can only answer in one-word sentences at the moment. Bewildering. Interesting. Thrilling. Emotional. Beautiful. Educational. Daunting. I need to improve my English on that score; perhaps my students can teach me how – when it comes to Japan, I’m as much their student as they are mine.
Friday 27 November 2009
Saturday 14 November 2009
One month on...
So it’s been a month, already? Wow. It feels like a lifetime ago that I was saying a teary-eyed goodbye to my folks. And now here I am: I can find my way home no matter what exit the train station throws me out of; I can lead a group of six kids whose native language isn’t English to sing and act out ‘head, shoulders knees and toes’ four times in a row; and I can resist buying every oh-so-pretty anime goody that catches my eye*
I wanted a challenge, now I’ve got one. Yeah, I only work six hours a day but those hours are intense. Managing a class of chattering Japanese children is something I still haven’t got to grips with yet. At ECC, I’m not allowed to speak or show I understand any Japanese, which is hard when you have a group of six or seven restless children bouncing around and chattering to you and each other in Japanese. Harder still when I’m out in the school lobby trying to make small talk with students or parents who can barely answer ‘what’s your name?’ in English.
But the kids, once you get them going in a song or game, are fantastic fun and amazing little sponges of language. The adults, once they understand a new word or relax and get chatting, are all fascinating. So many of the older students I’ve met have really interesting hobbies – traditional flower arranging in Kobe, scuba diving in Okinawa, ski bunnies in Osaka. None that I’ve met so far have said ‘I just watch TV’, or ‘I don’t do anything.’ The shortest answer to ‘What did you do at the weekend?’ I’ve had so far was ‘Study my kanji. A lot.’ (Hm, where to go from there..?)
Perhaps I’m only meeting a small minority of Kansai people who like pushing themselves to achieve (hence why they are learning English) but I feel like it’s teaching me a little about the ethos of people here. They like to challenge themselves; they like to keep busy; and they are enthusiastic about what they do. So I want to take those qualities on board too, and get myself a few good, challenging hobbies outside of work.
Learning Japanese is obviously a huge goal, and I can’t get any free lessons until December 1st when the Kobe Community Centre opens up their books again, so I’ve bought a challenging new textbook to give myself a little head start. My old textbook at warwick uni was mainly in English, but this one is in hiragana and katakana, so I have to get studying them again to use it.
Karate is my other burning desire to try here; having a weekly lesson in the UK was a great routine I had to stick to, rain or shine, and I made some great friends through it. It helped take my mind off work too which is something I can see I’m going to need. It’s hard to switch off sometimes. So. I have a YMCA just a short walk from my house, which I’ve seen runs loads of activities, so I’m going to brave going in to ask about classes there. I hope they have a flexible timetable as my working hours are so late at the moment; I could really do with either a morning class and/or a Sunday/Monday class. We’ll see what they’ve got.
Last but not least, I would love to get talking to some other anime/manga fans in the area too, as this is the mecca of it all, I’m sure there’s loads of events and good shops right under my nose. I wish there was a manga club just like at the astral gypsy in Coventry, perhaps there is but I’d have to find the otaku first.
One of the great things about doing sub classes at the moment is meeting other ECC teachers around the area. I’ve been for a few drinks with a group in Kobe, and today one of them kindly showed me some cool places around Sannomiya. They’re all pretty pleased to see new teachers arriving now, and as there’ll be more still coming later this month, I’m sure more opportunity for beer and possibly even karaoke will arise. We can but hope.
*not a guarantee
I wanted a challenge, now I’ve got one. Yeah, I only work six hours a day but those hours are intense. Managing a class of chattering Japanese children is something I still haven’t got to grips with yet. At ECC, I’m not allowed to speak or show I understand any Japanese, which is hard when you have a group of six or seven restless children bouncing around and chattering to you and each other in Japanese. Harder still when I’m out in the school lobby trying to make small talk with students or parents who can barely answer ‘what’s your name?’ in English.
But the kids, once you get them going in a song or game, are fantastic fun and amazing little sponges of language. The adults, once they understand a new word or relax and get chatting, are all fascinating. So many of the older students I’ve met have really interesting hobbies – traditional flower arranging in Kobe, scuba diving in Okinawa, ski bunnies in Osaka. None that I’ve met so far have said ‘I just watch TV’, or ‘I don’t do anything.’ The shortest answer to ‘What did you do at the weekend?’ I’ve had so far was ‘Study my kanji. A lot.’ (Hm, where to go from there..?)
Perhaps I’m only meeting a small minority of Kansai people who like pushing themselves to achieve (hence why they are learning English) but I feel like it’s teaching me a little about the ethos of people here. They like to challenge themselves; they like to keep busy; and they are enthusiastic about what they do. So I want to take those qualities on board too, and get myself a few good, challenging hobbies outside of work.
Learning Japanese is obviously a huge goal, and I can’t get any free lessons until December 1st when the Kobe Community Centre opens up their books again, so I’ve bought a challenging new textbook to give myself a little head start. My old textbook at warwick uni was mainly in English, but this one is in hiragana and katakana, so I have to get studying them again to use it.
Karate is my other burning desire to try here; having a weekly lesson in the UK was a great routine I had to stick to, rain or shine, and I made some great friends through it. It helped take my mind off work too which is something I can see I’m going to need. It’s hard to switch off sometimes. So. I have a YMCA just a short walk from my house, which I’ve seen runs loads of activities, so I’m going to brave going in to ask about classes there. I hope they have a flexible timetable as my working hours are so late at the moment; I could really do with either a morning class and/or a Sunday/Monday class. We’ll see what they’ve got.
Last but not least, I would love to get talking to some other anime/manga fans in the area too, as this is the mecca of it all, I’m sure there’s loads of events and good shops right under my nose. I wish there was a manga club just like at the astral gypsy in Coventry, perhaps there is but I’d have to find the otaku first.
One of the great things about doing sub classes at the moment is meeting other ECC teachers around the area. I’ve been for a few drinks with a group in Kobe, and today one of them kindly showed me some cool places around Sannomiya. They’re all pretty pleased to see new teachers arriving now, and as there’ll be more still coming later this month, I’m sure more opportunity for beer and possibly even karaoke will arise. We can but hope.
*not a guarantee
Tuesday 3 November 2009
Love it, hate it
Good morning from sunny Kobe once again (hard to believe it's November) it's a national holiday today, so I'm getting a few chores done then im going for a walk to the mountains at the end of my road. Yesterday i went to Kyoto for the first time which was fantastic; I only saw two shrines, a park and some shops but I'm definitely going to go back, oh yes!
I've still not been in japan for a month yet but I wanted to share some of my likes and dislikes so far... we shall see if/ when they change!
Likes:
1. The weather. It's beautiful most days, and by english standards, ki d of tropi al for November. I love the sunshine so I'm very happy. I have been warned however that august is disgustingly humid and I won't want to leave the air con.
2. The pretty men. Oh so many of them! everywhere!
3. The students I've had so far. They are all nice and willing to learn. I haven't done any kids tea bing yet so far though.
4. The department stores. Huge and amazing. So many things have cute faces as well, it's like cute overload, even in a relatively boring area like kitchen equipment - the potato mashed has a cute face on the handle!
5. The bakeries. Oh wow. Such nice cakes and sweet breads and one I found in namba plays music just like disneyworld... It's awesome.
Dislikes:
1. Smoking is still allowed pretty much everywhere so the offices do smell, and after a few drinks in a bar I do too X_X
2. Paperwork... Anything involving paperwork seems to take hours on end ( even after I've figured out how to fill it in!) in general anything admin-y takes about three times the time back home.
3. The sneaky meat. It looks vegetarian, it says it's vegetarian, but oh.. What's this? Surprise pork!
4. Not being Able to speak Japanese very well makes me feel like a small child when trying to do simple things. In Kobe I can get free lessons, but found out yesterday I have to be resident for a month first. so, will have to just get on for another few weeks with my dictionary. What's really hard is, I'm not allowed to speak any Japanese at work, as the students Re paying for an English class, they wNt total immersion. But even to the staff, I'm not allowed. So I feel myself becoming super polite English girl, in the vein of Mary Poppins... Cor blimey guv!
5. Not having any money to buy everything I want/ do things I want to do. One of my friends was in Tokyo this week bhut I couldn't afford the train fare to go visit her (or go to Disneyland as we'd discussed) train fares within kinki are pretty reasonable, but to get to Tokyo on the Shinkansen it's about £50, one way, if you don't book in advance. Crazy. so I'm going to hVe to save up and reserve those Tokyo tickets... I'm sure it will be worth the wait once I do. Meanwhile Ive got a Lot of kinki to explore!
I've still not been in japan for a month yet but I wanted to share some of my likes and dislikes so far... we shall see if/ when they change!
Likes:
1. The weather. It's beautiful most days, and by english standards, ki d of tropi al for November. I love the sunshine so I'm very happy. I have been warned however that august is disgustingly humid and I won't want to leave the air con.
2. The pretty men. Oh so many of them! everywhere!
3. The students I've had so far. They are all nice and willing to learn. I haven't done any kids tea bing yet so far though.
4. The department stores. Huge and amazing. So many things have cute faces as well, it's like cute overload, even in a relatively boring area like kitchen equipment - the potato mashed has a cute face on the handle!
5. The bakeries. Oh wow. Such nice cakes and sweet breads and one I found in namba plays music just like disneyworld... It's awesome.
Dislikes:
1. Smoking is still allowed pretty much everywhere so the offices do smell, and after a few drinks in a bar I do too X_X
2. Paperwork... Anything involving paperwork seems to take hours on end ( even after I've figured out how to fill it in!) in general anything admin-y takes about three times the time back home.
3. The sneaky meat. It looks vegetarian, it says it's vegetarian, but oh.. What's this? Surprise pork!
4. Not being Able to speak Japanese very well makes me feel like a small child when trying to do simple things. In Kobe I can get free lessons, but found out yesterday I have to be resident for a month first. so, will have to just get on for another few weeks with my dictionary. What's really hard is, I'm not allowed to speak any Japanese at work, as the students Re paying for an English class, they wNt total immersion. But even to the staff, I'm not allowed. So I feel myself becoming super polite English girl, in the vein of Mary Poppins... Cor blimey guv!
5. Not having any money to buy everything I want/ do things I want to do. One of my friends was in Tokyo this week bhut I couldn't afford the train fare to go visit her (or go to Disneyland as we'd discussed) train fares within kinki are pretty reasonable, but to get to Tokyo on the Shinkansen it's about £50, one way, if you don't book in advance. Crazy. so I'm going to hVe to save up and reserve those Tokyo tickets... I'm sure it will be worth the wait once I do. Meanwhile Ive got a Lot of kinki to explore!
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